Hi, I’m Jackie!
Welcome to Messy Bun and All! I am so happy that you are here. This site is truly something God-led and I hope it provides inspiration, encouragement, and hope on your day-to-day walk with God. I am a wife, mom, woman preacher, worship leader, daughter sister, friend… and I am learning how to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to be perfect for God to love me completely. <3
I pray that you will find Messy Bun to be a safe haven for you - where you can be connected through our various resources and feel like you have refreshed your soul. I believe that we all share similar stories and when we enter a room and realize that we have each other it is almost like the burdens we each carry get lighter. This is your invitation to enter the room and allow us to hold you up.
A couple years ago, I decided that I would use my story to inspire others to choose life…because I had to choose it for myself. I wanted to use my struggle with eating disorder and suicidal thinking to help others find the healing they need.
I struggled greatly with body dysmorphic disorder and an eating disorder known as Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). I had gone from a size 18 to a size 2, all within one year, but I still felt broken, heavy, ugly and like it was still not enough. My thoughts then started to spiral down into “I will never be good enough” and “this will never be enough”. The thoughts one day were too much for me and I remember standing in front of my kitchen counter, grabbing for something that I knew would end it all for me and then I heard this very faint voice “Don’t do it. I love you.” I remember going back to bed next to my Hubby and just crying so much. The next morning I knew I had to tell my Hubby because I couldn’t trust myself. I knew that the next time I would probably not listen to the voice.
I was admitted into an in-patient treatment center for 30 days and continued out-patient treatment for months to follow. The road to recovery began for me - and while it was a blessing, it was also one of the hardest and courageous things I could have done for myself.
Life is messy, but together we can do this, Messy Bun and All!
If you find that you need courage today - there is room for you here. If you feel like you have fallen short and need grace - there is room for you here. If you need the support and love from other women who share a similar story to yours - there is room for you here. If you need to be reminded of the unconditional love of God - there is room for you here. If you want to learn how to live a life filled with purpose and healing - there is room for you here.