The Gift of Being Present
It is my ABSOLUTE most favorite season of the year. Things get colder, decorations and lights start to go up, all the baking and cooking…and the music. Ah, I can just feel it now! CHRISTMAS! I love everything about it.
Well, Wally was 4 years old at this time and this particular year, he had only one request anytime anyone asked him THE question: “what would you like for Christmas?” And Wally’s cute, round eyes would open big and with excitement he would always say “an Axolotl!” (you’re probably wondering what in the world an Axolotl is….as Wally puts it, it is a Mexican salamander that lives in water). So, for the next few weeks all we heard about was the Axolotl. My husband and I spent many days conversing about whether we were ready for another pet and if we could reasonably care for it. I mean, it’s a huge responsibility to care for another pet.
Fast forward many months and we have THE cutest Axolotl living with us. We are honestly all excited and we love watching it grow. My husband is a photographer and there are times throughout the year where he travels out of town. The first overnight trip came where my husband would be out for 3 days…so I watched Tony and took notes on how he cared for the Axolotl. No biggie, right? On the morning of my first independent feeding, I grabbed the tongs like I had seen Tony do so many times and as I attempted to feed the Axolotl - complete failure. I would try to grab the food and it would crumble. I would try different angles and nothing. I literally tried for 30 minutes and had to stop because I was incredibly late and completely agitated. That evening, I went to feed the Axolotl again. I thought, this time would be better. I grabbed the tongs, said a prayer….and nothing. Actually, even worse, the Axolotl ran away from me when he saw me put the tongs in the water. I wanted to cry so bad. I started panicking because I was so worried that our Axolotl would go hungry, and I didn’t want to hurt it.
I went to bed feeling so defeated that I just couldn’t feed the Axolotl. As I laid in bed I told myself:
· I am a failure
· I’m good for nothing
· I am a terrible pet Mom
· I am not reliable
· I should just give up
· I will let the Axolotl starve until Tony comes home
· I am scared to try that again
I think there are so many times when we think that if something is in the “will of God” that it will happen without any struggle or any obstacle. That everything will go according to plan or that if the plan shifts it won’t be painful because God is in it; well, I hate to burst your bubble, but that is not reality. When we live a life that dares to dream and risk it all to see other lives impacted and changed for eternity – then we will find our share of storms.
So, the next morning, as I sat in my Quiet Time with God, I kept hearing God say…try again. Don’t give up just yet. And I would open one eye, glance upward and shake my head. I would close my eyes again and try to push the thought away. But I kept hearing “try again. Don’t give up.” So, because I felt God insisting, I decided to go ahead and try again. In my moaning and slight complaining I washed my hands, I grabbed the tongs, put the food on the tongs and lowered it down to the water. Of course, it slipped off, but then when I tried the second time, guess what??!!! The Axolotl waited for me, opened its mouth at the right time and It ate the food! It ate! I did it!!! Oh my gosh!!! I was soooooo happy I could cry! It ate so so so much that morning.
That experience shifted something in me. How many of us simply stop because of what we have experienced before? How many of us are unwilling to take that next step because of all the difficulties leading up to it? How many dreams are unrealized, business unfinished, goals left on a sheet of paper because we were too busy living in our past instead of realizing that God calls us EACH day and each day is new and every morning, we see His mercies. If you don’t get up and try again you will never see the full potential of what God called you to. It is comfortable to be on the sidelines and pray for others and support others…but at some point God is going to call you to step out. Will you step out? Will you know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what happened yesterday, last month, last year that today is a new day….and God can do a new thing in you if you let go and trust Hi.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
I leave you with this encouragement: each day His mercies are new. As you sit, plant your feet on the ground. Feel the ground beneath you. Feel your hands on your lap. Take a deep breath. Know that today is a great day to take that next step. His mercies never come to an end.
