The Comparison Game
As I walk into my yoga class, stand on my mat and gaze in the mirror I can’t help but feel disappointed in what I see looking right back at me. I start to span the class and compare all the other bodies around me. Somehow it is so easy for me to find negative things about my body – pinpoint right on that part of me that I just hate. Hate is a strong word, isn’t it? But it’s how I feel sometimes. It’s been a habit I have built over time. You see, when I was young – like elementary school young – I was constantly put on diets, told “watch what you eat.” I would observe how my Mom looked at herself in the mirror and it was always so depressing. I remember once as I was at my Honors Society induction program in High School my father told me “Jackie, why can’t you be like “Blank” (I remember her name, trust me, just leaving her anonymous)? She is both smart AND beautiful.” Ouch. I pretended like what he said didn’t matter, but it did and it hurt. Society and the standards of the world today has only magnified the lie that I believed that day, that I didn’t meet the standard. But who’s standard is that?
In the Garden of Eden where everything was perfect (Genesis 1), the most beautiful woman stood at a tree. I mean she was literally made by the hands of God. What was imperfect about her? But somehow Eve found herself in the same situation we find ourselves in today. There was a serpent who began to speak lies to Eve. It made her believe that somehow the way God created her wasn’t enough. Like there was something missing that He withheld from her. And so, she did the only thing God asked her not to do because she validated that lie over everything else she was told. What lies have you validated over your own life? Whose voice are you allowing to fill your life?
For me, this journey is a process. Finding restoration mentally, physically and spiritually has been a process. The enemy wants you to focus on the “there”. But, it is in the “middle” of my journey where I can feel God’s presence. I am where I am supposed to be. You know, even when we make mistakes, God still does what He does best and weaves His plan for us and makes it look like it happened on purpose. There is actually no mistake – only an opportunity to grow. The here is what matters most. It is my here that will allow me to enjoy what I have been so blessed to have: a loving and supportive husband, a miracle baby (with all 10 cutie toes and 10 cutie fingers), a roof over my head with a beautiful backyard. When I focus on the “there” somehow I find myself wishing I had a bigger house with more modern features, a newer car, a different job, a different kind of marriage….because I somehow feel like Instagram has much better families than mine that eat so much healthier, take the best selfies, and just have it all. Can we just quit comparing ourselves to each other? Can we quit the fight to outdo each other? It’s not a race. It’s a journey and I am going to devote myself to loving the here. Where I am right now. I will praise myself for going to yoga, making healthier choices, I will hold my hubby closer, give my baby so many kisses (because he may not want as many when he’s older) and commit to leave work when I said I would. I will praise myself for doing the best I can with where I am now. It’s all about the here ya’ll.
Thumbnail Photo by bruce mars.
